This position is based in Heaven, although working from home is also an option. But you’ll probably prefer to work from the office due to the great views, floating on clouds and being served hot buttered toast and coffee from beautiful angel beings.
The role: HTML4 Developer, God’s new homepage
Skills required: HTML4, CompuServe animated GIFs, a bit of PaintShop Pro or similar.
Righto, I’m God. First up, I don’t have a beard and I’m not a woman. I’m not a man either, I am a supernatural being and as such defy all earthly description, so get with the program and listen up. I’ve decided to catch up with the 21st century and get me a web site. I’m getting a bit tired of all the know-it-all clever dick atheists out there who think I don’t exist, so I’ve decided I need to do a spot of PR and networking. But I’m definitely not using that stupid Twitter thing, I’ll barely get one Bible verse published on that and I’m a very busy being.
Right I think that’s about it. Send your CV by reciting it in the form of a prayer, starting with the words “God’s New Homepage”, it’ll get to me. The successful applicant will get an early hours visitation, probably from my Son, so don’t alarmed, he’ll just want a quick chat.
Anyways, good luck, and no arguments – I’m God and if I kick you in the nuts you’ll know about it.